From lunchtime to homework to growing minds
KIDS ARE funny. Sometimes. But always they are kids. This one’s for them.
And for you parents, we offer a sampling of child-themed witty repartee:
Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. — Fran Lebowitz
- Fans still reeling from Super Bowl ticket nightmare
- Rental-car drivers dinged by toll charges
- Washington basketball great Christian Welp dies at 51
- Marshawn Lynch talks about final play of Super Bowl — from Turkey
- Socialist Kshama Sawant: Action-now approach gains influence
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Having a 2-year-old is like having a blender that you don’t have the top for. — Jerry Seinfeld
There are only two things a child will share willingly — communicable diseases and his mother’s age. — Dr. Benjamin Spock
Kicking the lunch bucket
Heigh ho, heigh ho, it’s off to lunch we go. With what just might be, Goddess is loathe to admit, perhaps the world’s ka-utest lunch bags (backpacks also hideously adorable) from Dabbawalla in Seattle.
Modern, eco-friendly, functional and fun, according to marketing blah-de-blah. Sigh. All true. Made with 100 percent sustainable (degradable, recyclable, all the “ables”!) materials. Insulates for hours: Stuff ‘em full of last night’s leftover stir-fry, fresh juice, veggie sticks, cheese and yogurt. Cold morning to afternoon.
Even the names are ka-ute. Monkey See, Monkey Do; Stars and Stripes; British Invasion; Cute as a Bug; Flower Power II.
Toxin-free, stain resistant and, here’s one for the mom, machine washable. Also, only water-based adhesives are used during lamination, so it’s solvent free.
Invention of two Seattle sisters/moms with visions of sustainability, innovation and safety dancing in their heads. The inspiration? Indian lunch-delivery men, dabbawallas. Find at specialty retail stores and at www.dabbawallabags.com. $25-$40.
No more lost thoughts
Nevermore. The Memory on Hand Band: A USB flash drive in a cheerful silicone wristband developed for frustrated students by a frustrated student, one Andrew Kitzenberg.
Seems Mr. Kitzenberg lost numerous flash drives during his years of higher knowledge-seeking at Massachusetts’ Babson College. The result? Meltdowns. His backup for papers and projects AWOL. Now all is calm as he traverses the planet with his digital files on hand (to be accurate, wrist). Take digital files to go via wristbands with two-, four- or eight-gigabyte capacity in 35 color styles. Compatible with all computers made in the past 10 years.
Fortunately, Mr. Kitzenberg was a business major studying entrepreneurship. “My goal was to make a sale. And that last week of college I did, to a local prep school of 50 bands. They sold out in 48 hours.” The rest is history. Find at www.memoryonhand.com. Goddess discount alert! Enter code B2S20 for 20 percent off.
Suit up for safety
Safety first. Really? First? With kids? If it’s cool first and the safety comes with, then it’s the big win-win. Raskullz helmets, headgear designed so that kids will want to strap one on.
Here are some stats to scare kids straight into one: Riding without a proper helmet increases risk of serious head injury or fatal crash by 14 times. Risk of brain injury is reduced by 88 percent in a proper helmet. Risk of a fatal bike crash is cut by 75 percent in a proper helmet.
Enough with the fear factor. On to the fun stuff: helmets as bunnies, bugs, bees, kitties, sharks, dragons, ponies, unicorns, gorillas, princesses (with tiara!), T-rexes and a fearsome mohawk ‘do.
Raskullz helmets exceed safety standards. Company has a mantra: “Protect the head, inspire the imagination.” $25.99. Find at Toys R Us, Big 5, REI, Walmart, Amazon.com.