A visit from Auld Nick 'Twas five weeks past election — the Dems were distraught: Dino's lead for governor could not be caught. They appealed to the national party: "Sirs...

Share story

A Visit from Auld Nick

‘Twas five weeks past election — the Dems were distraught:

Most Read Stories

Unlimited Digital Access. $1 for 4 weeks.

Dino’s lead for governor could not be caught.

They appealed to the national party: “Sirs, please have pity —

We know a recount will increase the lead from the City.

Please open the purse strings and make our holidays merry —

Christine is behind by way less than John Kerry —

Help her to be sworn in come January.”

The DNC came through with the cash,

Then the recount began in a flash.

As the tallies came in from the eastern counties,

Dems still were dismayed — no catch-up vote bounties!

They went to the state Supreme Court with a plea:

“Include the votes not counted previously —

Let every vote count — twice or thrice if need be!”

Wonder of wonders, the court’s selection

Was to count only those votes from the actual election.

But wait! What to King County’s wondering eyes should appear:

“A box of uncounted ballots! See, they’re right here!”

County officials declared with a somber mien,

“How they were overlooked is not easily seen.

So on with the recount — and then, after lunch,

We’ll continue counting, and add in this bunch.”

Then came a rattling sound — it clanked like a chain,

And a sepulchral voice saying, “I’m BAAACK again!”

Why, ’twas the Ghost of Elections Past — with a smirking look,

And a banner that read “1960 — County of Cook.”

“It’s magic,” he declared with a sneer,

“How ballots can appear or disappear.”

His manner was practiced, his demeanor was slick;

I wondered if I had encountered Auld Nick.

And I heard him say, as he rose out of sight,

“Happy holidays to all — how I love a good fight!”

M.B. Hartley of Burien offers apologies to Clement Moore and Charles Dickens.