The vast majority of teachers — 94 percent — say it’s important for them to know that a child’s parents are divorcing, but just 23 percent of divorcing parents say they told their child’s teacher, according to a new study.

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Teachers want more input about kids’ home lives. Parents, in turn, want more info about kids’ school behavior

The vast majority of teachers — 94 percent — say it’s important for them to know that a child’s parents are divorcing, but just 23 percent of divorcing parents say they told their child’s teacher, according to a new study.

Same goes for remarriage, illness, a death in the family or any significant events that are likely to affect a child’s emotions; teachers say they want to know about them, parents say they rarely think to tell them.

The survey, commissioned by corporate training company VitalSmarts, asked 689 parents of school-age kids (kindergarten through grade 12) and 174 teachers about their communication habits.

Teachers, the survey found, want to hear more from parents about children’s home lives. Parents, in turn, want to hear more from teachers about their children’s demeanor and behavior at school.

“Here you’ve got two different constituents being hypersensitive to each other’s busy-ness and emotional state, but both sides are craving more communication,” says Joseph Grenny, co-author of “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High.” “Sometimes the fact that a child is troubled will present in one of the two domains, but not both.”

Grenny and his “Crucial Conversations” series co-author David Maxfield teamed up to conduct the VitalSmarts study and parse the results.

“One person might be seeing something that the other might not,” Grenny says. “You’ve got the key the other side needs to have a meaningful influence on this little person who both sides care about.”

But a lot of parents, I told Grenny, feel like our kids’ teachers are bogged down in a practically unmanageable load of paperwork and minutiae. Our instinct is to not add to their burden with details about our home life.

Grenny says to step back and look at the big picture.

“When you ask most teachers why they went into the profession, inevitably they tell you a story about the lives they’ve made a difference in,” Grenny says. “It’s about having those poignant moments when they can be there when it matters most.”

Parents also hold information that teachers need to do their jobs effectively, he says.

If your kid’s mind is less on his upcoming spelling quiz and more on his upcoming move to a new house, letting his teacher know why he’s distracted can mean the difference between getting him some help and getting him labeled a slow learner.

Grenny says not to wait for parent-teacher conferences to start the conversation.

“Those tend to be perfunctory, like the annual performance review cycle in the workplace,” he says. “The conversations are stilted and irrelevant. The real conversations that matter are the ones that happen in the moment.”

The best approach is to reach out in a short email or handwritten note, thank your child’s teachers for all they do and let them know a little bit about your child’s home life. Tell them you’re open to frequent communication, in a let’s-look-out-for-each-other approach.

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“It’s about helping the teacher connect with your child as an individual,” he says. “You’re not looking for more attention, you’re just looking for a connection.”

That makes it easier to speak up when one of you — teacher or parent — has sensitive news to pass along.

“It starts to build a reservoir to draw on if there is something taxing to talk about,” Grenny says.

And parents shouldn’t be stingy about passing along accolades.