These front-page gems from the supermarket tabloid include tales of geology ("Earth's Core Is Made of Candy"), tips on taxidermy ("Make sure your pet is dead")...
“Batboy Lives! The Weekly World News Guide to Politics, Culture, Celebrities, Alien Abductions, and the Mutant Freaks That Shape Our World”
Edited by David Perel and the editors of The Weekly World News
Sterling, 198 pp., $12.95
From the sublime to the ridiculous …
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These front-page gems from the supermarket tabloid include tales of geology (“Earth’s Core Is Made of Candy”), tips on taxidermy (“Make sure your pet is dead”) and space-alien sightings galore (with a list of which outer-space visitors have settled down here and become U.S. senators).
For Seattle readers, there are several unexpected local connections. Sen. Rick Santorum (apparently not a space alien) is reported to be fearful that “liberal columnist” Dan Savage will get wind of the fact that Santorum “carries a locket with a photo of his childhood dog in it.” It seems Santorum is worried that some people might think this as perverted as Donald Rumsfeld sleeping with his one-legged G.I. Joe doll (disclosed on the same page).
And of course there’s a ton of stuff on Bigfoot, including a centerfold spread of the mythical creature and stories with datelines from Enumclaw (“Bigfoot Field Researcher Just Wants To Get Laid”) and Tacoma (“I Was Bigfoot’s Love Slave: Lumberjack’s Tale of Forbidden Love Will Amaze You!”).
By the time you’ve read excerpts from Osama bin Laden’s love letters to Saddam Hussein (“my sexy, swarthy passion goat”) and heard all about the miraculous healing powers of Janet Jackson’s exposed breast, you may be a tabloid addict for life.
The story that cinched it for me?
“Baffling Phenomenon: Crop Circles Appear in Men’s Chest Hair.”
Just check out the photo above. Now that’s what I call journalism.